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The Power of Words

Lena Heidel • September 8, 2020

How a few, simple words made an impact ... 20 years later.

Social media posts, news reports and articles can create a firestorm of emotional responses. Words will make or break people’s spirits, reputations and careers. Words create impact, no matter how casual or formal the media channel is. And it only takes a few, simple words to make a powerful impact. 

After I left my home state of Kansas to chase my career, my mother wrote and mailed to me a very simple note. Nothing special. It says, “Happy Birthday” and “I love you.” Parents write these notes to their children all the time. 

This note was the only one that my mother wrote to me. I was in my late 20’s. The effort that it took for her to write this note is overwhelming to me, to this day. 

My mother could not read or write. 

She had to ask a very trusted friend to help her. Mom dictated, her friend wrote out the words and then Mom re-wrote them. Copying a note by hand is easy for most people, but my Mom’s brain circuits were mangled. Intellectual disabilities made it impossible for her to achieve reading and writing skills above the 1st grade level. 

She carefully copied the note. I can see where she erased and re-wrote the words to get them right. It must have taken her hours to finish it. I kept that note for over 20 years in my fireproof safe. I had forgotten all about it until I was sorting through documents a few months after my Mom’s death last year. 

I had to make some hard decisions about end-of-life quality and care for my mother. I can’t imagine trusting someone else as much as she trusted me with those types of decisions. She never questioned them and hid the emotional anguish that she must have been going through. And I suffered with the anxiety and guilt of making those decisions, questioning if I had made the right ones or not. 

The note that was intended to wish me a happy birthday over 20 years ago pulled me out of my depressive state. It reminded me of my mother’s love and kindness. She deserved to be bitter for all that life had thrown at her: disabilities, obesity, illiteracy, poverty and abuse. Instead, she faced every day with gratitude, cheerfulness and determination. And she loved me no matter what choices I had made. 

My mother’s note shows how the simplest of words can make a powerful impact. 

Never underestimate the power of your words. Choose them well.

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